The Parent Connect

I just saw this video about the Parent Connect which is a web based program that allows parents to go online and check their kids attendance, grades, test and quiz scores. The concept of the Parent Connect is great as a tool so that parents can see what their kids are doing but the people who could most benefit from this I don't see having access to this in their schools. And the parents who probably are going to sign up for this is probably like the woman in the video. This lady says she logs onto Parent Connect and checks her kids grades everyday. That is ridiculous.

Your parent and your school teacher should not be one in the same. Teachers teach theory of a specialized subject matter and parents teach how to apply what you learn in the classroom in real life. Yes, they kind of cross at certain points but generally that's the concept. Real life is not about who can receive the highest grade on their biology quiz. There are a host of reasons why you are motivated to do stuff or not. But bottom line is you are more apt to truly apply yourself and challenge yourself when you reap a benefit and not fear a consequence.

Imagine this kid having to come home and answer to his mother EVERY DAY about why he got a 71 on his blankety blank quiz. It is not really an icebreaker for academic or personal conversations. It is like he knows what the quiz score is. He has known every since he got it back in his hand. The poor kid could have an anxiety attack trying to think of his answer or his lie on the way home. And then he might even start pre-meditating scenarios to make the problem 'not his'. His mother says using the Parent Connect is about buiding accountability and if we want to compare this to the adult world...as I know parents are reading this now sucking their teeth :) (relax it is just an opinion piece) this scenario is no different than going to work everyday and getting little nastygrams from your micromanaging boss. Does that make you have accountability or help to improve your accountability? No, it makes you slack off more and want to find another job.

So what is it that parents really want to accomplish here? I suppose that is the real question. If you want to build accountability & trust with your teenager you need to empower them. Give them resources and boundaries and teach them to be resourceful and take initiative to create their own set of checks and balances. Let them experience life a little on both sides of the fence....Struggle a bit and succeed a bit. Let them decide which side they like best. Don't threaten them with if you don't get good grades or this that or the other you are going to fail. If they have never truly experienced it they cannot identify with it.

If you want your child to get good grades to get into the best school you have to help them build their character, meaning their words and actions must agree.
University admissions are competitive but they don't judge on purely test scores and standardized tests. They want someone who has character. Someone who is scared straight by their micromanaging mom may not feel comfortable in his own skin because he is always thinking of saying what makes her happy or what appeases her and not what is truly in his heart. The only way he can say what is truly in his heart is if he is given the freedom to explore it. And it is so much better when he does because he and his moms relationship can continue to evolve.

Parents looking to connect with their kids just have to help young people and teens identify, embrace and celebrate their own unique talents and gifts. Then encourage them to utilize that skill set as they pursue their life purpose or interests. As for everything else...the forces of the universe will sort everything else out. It did for you right?